Darwin Casino Suggestion a Real Crapshoot

There’s still something morally questionable about getting excited over a casino for downtown Ottawa (or the Casinoadium out in Kanata). It’s not enough to have “sin taxes”, we’ve got to provide the venue for the sinning and advertise to encourage people to come stay at a Motel 6 and lose their money. Isn’t it enough that we already send buckets of cash to Ottawa?

I wonder if in another 30 years people who gambled away their savings will be joining war detainees, unwed mothers, and aboriginals in suing the governments for the “wrongs” they suffered.

So what’s the alternative?

How about a crapshoot?

Yup, just take some of those vacant lots along Rideau Street (you know, where the City plans to reduce the width of the busiest sidewalks in the region so that Tourists can drive to the Casino over in Pointe Gatineau) and place an old too-much-water toilet there: 

Yes folks, it’s that simple. A crap-shoot entertainment palace for very low cost, in keeping with the spirit of the Timbits Inauguration.

If Mayor Watson wants something fancier, add some walls:

I just know this crap shoot would be successful. So successful, that “homeless travellers” might try to scoop up Mayor Jim’s money. So… put up a fence. A really high fence. Of iron bars. With spikes on top. Then film the folks climbing the fence, occasionally getting impaled on the spikes, as a new reality show. I’m sure we could sell commercials for the show too.

Now, back to the serious stuff. I’m gonna sell futures contracts on that class action lawsuit…on a tontine basis only. Cash or certified cheques only.