City announces art project for Bronson Ave

The City takes a percentage of all major capital projects and spends it on art. Their policy is that the art installation should be located in close proximity to the capital project that generated the money.

The reconstruction & widening of Bronson Avenue will cost about $30 million for the first phase alone. Here is an excerpt from the City’s press release regarding the Bronson art project:

“city officials noted that just as additional landscaping is proving difficult to provide, because as the landscape architect says “the houses are too close to the road”, and just as the road widening is proving difficult to accomplish “due to the constrained right of way — the houses are too close to the road” so too the arts community is having great difficulty finding any free space along the street for art installations.

But being creative, our arts community has solved addressed this challenge by miniaturizing the art installations. A sample installation was unveiled today by Mayor Watson, accompanied by a mob of traffic consultants. “It is truly amazing what can be done for a community” said Mr Watson, who went on to praise the artful miniatures. “Once we do all the little access caps, we are planning to go 2.4% bigger, if we can afford it, and paint at least part of the traffic controller switch boxes at every intersection.”

The artwork unveiled by Mr Watson is titled “choose love” and shows a little girl crossing Bronson by means of an aerial balloon:

9 thoughts on “City announces art project for Bronson Ave

  1. Fitting. A hot air balloon will be the only safe way for a child to cross. : ) Will there be a push-button to request a hot-air balloon pickup?

  2. Or perhaps some stylized left turn arrows on the ashphalt. Ottawa could be a leader in “road art” – so many roads, so many canvases. The possibilities!

  3. Eric, that’s old news. You missed the update.

    “Bronson art monies to be redirected toward memorial markers for anticipated pedestrian deaths.”

    Mayor Watson was quoted as saying, “Well gosh, we considered memorials for the mature trees we’re cutting down. But heck, after spending all that money widening the road, it’s nice to know we’ll be able to afford a little something special for the people who will give their lives for the cause of no measurable improvement in traffic movement.”

    Future pedestrian and cycling fatalities remained ungrateful however, for their chance at the blighted urban street-scape version of immortality. Said 2013’s future third victim Fred Fenderbent, “sorry, what are you interviewing me about again?” Oh Fred. You’ll find out soon enough.

  4. Hey, how about putting an art encyclopedia in a microdot on the cross-street button?
    Or a bigger picture of lipstick on a pig?
    Of course, all the commuters will miss it…..and so will the pedestrians since they will be coughing so much.

    1. No, actually Tom, the design team was specifically recommending art that could be seen “from the street”; i.e. by motorists at speed. And they want it raised. So if you’re at the sidewalk, it’ll be like front-row seats at a theatre: you’ll have to crane your neck up so far to see it, it’ll hurt. With everyone’s noses in Blackberrys, I don’t know if pedestrians would even notice!

  5. You all are crazy. The city is saving money by getting free performance artists ie the pedestrians trying to cross Bronson. This will provide amusement for countless commuters.

  6. Damn! Here I am moving out to the country where my opportunities to run down pedestrians at a high rate of speed are practically non-existent.

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